Part 3 of this story is about my second egg freezing cycle. After my first round was canceled, I had a follow up appointment with my doctor to discuss the results. Unfortunately with these things it’s hard to predict how your body responds to medication. Even though my bloodwork and numbers looked good, it’s still trial and error because you’re putting your body through something it doesn’t go through naturally.

With this experience, I really empathize with people who have gone through multiple rounds of fertility treatment only to start from the beginning again. I know my canceled cycle is nothing in comparison to these people and I can only imagine how much more painful it is for people who are actively trying to get pregnant. It’s a hard journey and I don’t think women get enough credit for their strength and resilience.

After my follow up appointment, I was given a new medication calendar with a higher dosage of Gonal to start. I had expected as much, but that also meant the costs of my medication would go up. Luckily I was finally feeling back to 100%. Being healthy and mentally prepared for the cycle ahead really helped me get through the next round of stims.

For some reason I didn’t feel as affected by the hormones this time around, even being on a higher dosage. There were maybe two instances where I was like, “nope I can’t do this” and wanted to stop the entire thing. It’s definitely a huge mental struggle. I was lucky I got past it, however the bloating and discomfort was more intense as I progressed past the halfway point. Whenever I looked in the mirror in the evenings when I was most bloated, I swear I looked like I was 2 months pregnant.

I also had the strangest feeling towards the end. Even though I knew I wasn’t pregnant, nor have I ever experienced a pregnancy, the thought of me carrying something inside my body that I wanted to grow and nurture made me feel… maternal for the first time in my life. I wanted to pause and remember that feeling because it might be the closest I’d ever get to that point again. I think that was the one memory I want to cherish from this entire journey.

I ended up stimming for 11 days and I started my morning injections much earlier this time around to prevent early ovulation. Being able to work from home definitely helped, as I would have to go to the clinic every second or third day, and it would have been super awkward bringing my needles and sharps container with me to work. I’m lucky I had that flexibility and understanding from my manager and supervisors to accommodate my schedule.

My retrieval day ended up being on a Monday. I was definitely responding much better this cycle and from my ultrasounds there were quite a few follicles growing that were reaching a good size. I was told to take my trigger shot on Saturday evening, 36 hours before my retrieval.

There are different trigger shots you can take. I was initially prescribed both Decapeptyl and HCG, but because my estrogen levels were quite high, I only needed the first one. Decapeptyl comes in two shots. I was actually quite nervous taking them. It was a mix of fear that something might go wrong at the last moment, but also a satisfaction that I would finally be done with all the injections.

As I mentioned that my estrogen levels were high, I was also prescribed additional medications for after the retrieval to help rebalance my hormones. The one thing you need to be aware of is the possibility of any complications, including OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome), which is when the ovaries retain fluid, causing them to swell and become painful. In serious cases, the fluid might leak into other parts of your body. Apparently it’s a rare condition, however I had to sign waivers that I acknowledged the dangers, so it’s something to keep in mind when you’re monitoring yourself for symptoms afterwards.

The night before my retrieval, I was told to fast with no food or drink. Coming into the clinic at 7am, I needed to go for bloodwork first. The one thing that killed me the most during this cycle was constantly getting bruises from all the bloodwork I had to do on each visit. The nurses could not find my veins, so I had bruises everywhere. Thankfully she was able to find a vein that morning to collect my blood, so I thought the hard part was done.

After my blood work, I waited in the lobby for another half hour before the nurse called me inside. I was led into a small room, where there was space for a reclining chair and some monitors. The nurses were really nice and they gave me time to change into my gown before explaining the rundown of the surgery.

At that point they were going to get an IV started for me. Since I was quite dehydrated from fasting, it made it nearly impossible to find a vein. Between two nurses who both attempted to find veins to put this IV in, I was poked FIVE TIMES. They simply could not find a vein to use cause I would bruise immediately. Even though they were quite apologetic, it hurt like hell during each attempt and I’m already someone who’s quite good with pain tolerance.

The winning vein was apparently the same one the nurse was able to draw blood from earlier that morning. I did momentarily panic that my surgery and the entire cycle would be canceled if they couldn’t get an IV in. I asked the nurse afterwards what would have happened if that was the case, and she said that even if it wasn’t ideal, they would have given me an injection instead to proceed, so it wouldn’t have all been in vain [pun intended].

Once my IV was running I was finally led inside the surgery room. I did have a family member with me during the surgery which I think was quite comforting. The surgery is what they call conscious sedation, so you’re somewhat groggy but still aware of what’s going on. They give you something to help relax and for pain management (the only time I’ve ever been on Fentanyl!).

The surgery itself was pretty quick. I didn’t really have a concept of time while I was drugged up, but I definitely didn’t feel any pain during the retrieval. I was able to climb off the surgery table and the nurse wheeled me back to the recovery room to rest.

After some time had passed, the Fentanyl had started wearing off and I could feel myself cramping, so the nurse gave me Tylenol. I was asked by the nurse to go use the washroom, as they needed to make sure I could pass urine before discharging me. (Remember, fluid retention is a symptom of OHSS.) I got a bit dizzy standing up, so I sat back down again and the nurse gave me a new IV bag. I was also starting to feel slightly nauseous and I didn’t want to take any chances, so I asked for some Gravol as well. It’s amazing how easy it is to get meds in your body once you have an IV in your arm.

The Gravol did make me more groggy, but once I was feeling better and done with everything I was finally allowed to leave the clinic. Before I left, they were able to tell me how many eggs they were able to retrieve, but I wouldn’t get the final number of mature eggs they were able to freeze until the day after.

The rest of the day I spent resting at home. My appetite returned around lunch time, so I was able to eat as normal. I had started drinking Gatorade two days prior to make sure I was getting enough fluids. The first day it did seem like I wasn’t passing enough urine for the amount I was taking in, but it did go back to normal by the second day. Upping your salt intake is also encouraged, so I gave myself permission to snack on all the junk food I wanted. I was given a full post-oocyte retrieval instruction sheet from the clinic, so it is important to follow it to ensure you are recovering well.

The nurse called for a check up the next morning and I mentioned experiencing more bloating post-surgery. I was told it was quite normal and to try taking laxatives to help promote bowel movement, which would help alleviate the bloating. I was holding off on taking it, but the discomfort was becoming too much that I took it overnight and by the third day I was feeling much better.

Overall I think it took about a week to go back to normal. I hadn’t been exercising during my entire stim cycle, so I was finally able to get back on the treadmill to do some light jogging. I was also able to go back to the office and my pants started fitting again! And while you might start feeling better a week post retrieval, your periods may not be as consistent right after. Ever since my first cancelled stim cycle, my periods still haven’t fallen back into routine yet. It’s more of an annoyance than anything at this point, but I’m hoping that it’ll be back to normal soon.

Looking back to when I first started on this journey in August, it took a full six months to complete my retrieval. Obviously there were different factors at play, most of which weren’t fully in my control. It’s hard when you know your clock is ticking, but this is sadly the reality women face. Sharing this timeline gives a realistic look at what to expect when you factor in everything.

The experience the second time around was more humbling for sure. With fertility treatments it’s really hard to manage your expectations and disappointment. There was a reason why I chose to do this privately and told only a limited number of people I was going through the treatment in real time. As much as I wanted to talk about it, I was fearful with the amount of uncertainty I faced. In some ways it made it even harder as a single woman when you’re surrounded by couples at the fertility clinic going through it together. It would have made such a difference having a partner to lean on.

Either way, if you are considering this, definitely do what works best for you. Don’t let stigma or fear hold you back. I was fortunate to have the financial means to do this and it felt empowering to make a decision for myself. Remember that you don’t owe it to anyone else. And even if you experience disappointment and heartbreak on this journey, know that it’s totally normal and it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Instead you’ve given yourself a chance and that’s already more than enough.

My egg freezing experience in summary:
14 clinic visits
15 ultrasounds
21 vials of blood
55 self-injections
0 babies (as of now; by choice)