This past weekend I was really lucky to be invited to my friend Megumi’s wedding. It was my first time attending a Japanese style wedding so I really didn’t know what to expect. I bought a new dress for the event and borrowed some accessories from a friend since I left most of my stuff back home in Canada. Then I had to research the gift giving procedures in Japan.

In Japan it isn’t common for couples to have a wedding registry. In fact, it’s normal for guests to give money to the new couple. I went out and bought a shuugibukuro, which is a money envelope used for special occasions. I also went to the bank to exchange new banknotes since it symbolizes the couple can start their new life together. In addition to the new banknotes, the numerations for the monetary gift also needs to be an odd number. That means that the couple will not easily split up. With all these rules to follow, I made sure to ask for help when I finally opened up the money envelope to insert money and write my name on it. =P

In Japan it’s also common to have afternoon weddings. Ceremonies are held around noon, then all the guests are served a late lunch at the reception. Usually the wedding is over by 5pm or so. There’s also no dancing involved, so people can leave after the meal. While it seems a lot more simpler, every part of the wedding is meticulously planned to the smallest details.

On the day of the wedding I arrived at the venue an hour before the reception started. We were asked to go an hour early to ensure we had time to line up for a group photo. I was a little overwhelmed getting to the hotel since I didn’t know anyone attending the wedding. Luckily I met another guest who was also by herself, so we chatted together waiting for the wedding to start.

While in the waiting room, Megumi and her husband came in wearing a wedding gown and suit. She looked so pretty and happy! Shortly after we all got ushered into a room to take the official group photo. It took a few minutes to line everyone up on the stands. Once the photos were done, we slowly made our way to the chapel where the official ceremony would take place. I was very surprised to attend a church wedding in Japan, especially with the chapel built right on the hotel grounds. It was definitely a new experience for me!

During the ceremony Megumi and Wataru recited their vows and exchanged rings. I got very emotional just watching from my seat. After the ceremony was over, all the guests lined up outside the chapel doors with flower petals to shower the new couple. We were lucky that it was warm and sunny outside because we could take many photos with them. Megumi also tossed her bouquet but it seemed like all the ladies were too embarrassed to take it. (It didn’t come anywhere near me, so I was safe haha.)

Once the photos were done, we finally made our way back inside to start the actual reception (i.e. the food). First Megumi and Wataru changed into their traditional Japanese kimonos, then the reception started with a toast and speeches. People got up to take photos with them and the bride and groom’s parents came around to each table pouring beer and thanking all the attendees one by one.

Since I was the only foreign guest at the wedding, I was really grateful that Megumi sat me with her old high school English teacher, Reiko-san. We had really interesting conversations throughout the meal. Partway through Megumi and Wataru left to change into their third outfit for the day – an evening gown and a tux. They came back into the hall with a long candle and went around table by table lighting all the small candles at our seats. Once they made it back to the front, the bride and groom asked one of their friends to help them light their own candles. I was really touched when Megumi asked me to come up to light her candle for her.

Once all the candles were lit, we were asked to put the flames out using a little paper stand that we each had at our seats. Once the flame hits the film on the stand, a personalized message appears on top. The message I received was so sweet.

Everything up to that point was wonderful. I was having a good time eating and chatting. It was lovely hearing the speeches and watching the collage of images they put up on the screen. However by the time dessert came around, I suddenly felt really nauseous and got lightheaded in my seat. I have no idea how that happened cause I was perfectly fine 10 minutes prior. Either I drank or ate too much or it was a combination of nerves and exhaustion from working 29 days in a row prior to attending the wedding, but it was too late to do anything about it. Instead of making a big scene, I asked Reiko-san to help me to the washroom and ended up lying down trying to clear my head.

I felt really terrible for interrupting the reception but everyone was so nice looking after me while I was sick. The hotel staff arranged a room for me to lie down in and people kept checking in on me to make sure I was alright, including Megumi’s parents. I’m so grateful for their kindness. Luckily I was alright after I threw up and rested for an hour. Reiko-san also graciously grabbed my bag for me so I didn’t have to go back down to the reception hall. Hopefully I won’t be known as the foreign girl who got sick at the wedding, but I’m glad I got to witness about 90% of the day prior to getting sick. I wouldn’t have missed the wedding for the world!

I’m also thankful for all the return gifts I received. In Canada guests only get small party flavours, but in Japan guests pretty much get back half of what we give. I got a box a sweets and salad dressing, plus a catalogue which I can choose my own gift. It’s very swanky! I was happily surprised.

Once again, congratulations to Megumi and Wataru. I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness!